This article has nothing to do with photography. It has nothing to do with art. It should not even be worth mentioning. But still, I feel like it´s worth spending the time writing: it is about showing respect and treating each other like you want to be treated.
So what´s this about? Simply put: It is about how I learned to say “no”.
I get messaged a lot. Most messages come via direct message in Instagram. A few come via Facebook and some via regular email. And I don´t mean the business related messages. I refer to the other ones I get. Most of them are greatly appreciated interaction with like-minded photo enthusiasts. And then there are the ones I receive every other day of people asking me to review a certain image or body of work. In the past I have always tried to do so: spend time looking for their images, spend more time looking at their images and spend even more time in writing down my thoughts about it in a constructive way. Having my personal preference dictate the way I write: polite, yet, frankly speaking and giving clear advice on things I think could be improved. With all good intent because helping somebody who asks for help is just the right thing to do, no?!
After sending out my replies I noticed two things. No, three, really.
Number one: most people got back to me thanking and being appreciative. Left me feeling good that I could actually help. The way I would have replied as recipient myself, really.
Number two: some people never replied. No “thank you”, no nada. I find that rude. Call me old fashioned, but I tell my kids “say ‘thank you’ when you receive something. So even if those guys did not agree with what I wrote, I would have appreciated some kind of reply or thanks. Just to show the person cares for the effort I took, at least.
But number three really made me rethink and ultimately change my approach to the entire matter: complaints and bitching about my feedback.
So to describe that a bit more: I had people ask me to give feedback and critique their images. So when I did, I received replies like “well, I don’t care what you write.”, “others tell me it´s great so I know it´s great no matter what you say” or the best: “you don’t know anything about photography, anyways!”. Pretty cool, eh? Pretty disturbing, too, actually. After swallowing this ugly pill I started thinking “what drove those people to ask me for opinion, in the first place??”. I came to the conclusion it must have been a need for attention. A need for a clap on the back. That sort you find on comments on Instagram or Facebook: “epic!”, “you rock, dude”, “sick edit, bro” maybe. But if so, if that is really the driving force to reach out to somebody, how low must that self-esteem be if a person writes somebody asking for feedback if all that is wanted is shallow compliments? Seriously, I don’t get that. Let me think about it again… no, still don’t get it.
rather spend some time with positive things than dwell on negativity or let others take advantage of you
Without spending too much further thought and analyzing anti-social behavior that merely circles around satisfying one´s need to get attention and some sort of (self-) love; I would like to turn to the impact this has left on me. And that is that I deny this sort of inquiry from people that I don’t know well, now. Trust me, I don´t like to do that. But I came to the conclusion that it´s better to act that way instead of having more unpleasant experiences that, frankly speaking, just piss me off. And exchanging a few pleasantries via Instagram doesn’t mean I am going to jump on “so how do you like my images?”, if that question comes up. I politely turn this down. From now on maybe by also giving a link to this article, hoping it is understandable why I behave that way. No harm intended, but lessons learned the hard way. Truth is: time is the most valuable thing I own. And I prefer to spend it on people and things I like and who are appreciative and/or from an economic standpoint: merely help me paying my bills and continue as a photographer. So I have to prioritize on what I spend my time on. And investing it into something that is negative in return doesn’t make any sense. So I refuse to travel that road.
Still I like helping my photo friends and helping the students I coach in trying to improve their photography (if you want to know more about my trainings just click here). In fact, it’s a fun thing to do and I do it with great joy. I know what an important part in improving one‘s craft that is. And yes, I do it, too: ask my buddies to view my edited image and point out every small detail that might be strange. This is so helpful and I am very, very appreciative of every feedback I get. And although a “cool shot” feels good, a “the colors in the upper left corner look weird and the compo sucks in the right corner of the foreground” helps me more. And I remember very well when I started out with photography and I simply could not see many things myself. Color cast? Leaning buildings? Or unwanted highlight on the edge of the image? It´s like a bad typo in a text you write: sometimes you can read a text over and over and you don’t notice it until someone points it out to you. Same with images. But once these things are pointed out to you and you are truly willing to embrace these kind of feedbacks, you are open for improvement. And that´s what we all, well most of all, strive for, don’t we?
So in case you will be one of the people I have forwarded this article to as a reply to your request on image critique: don´t take it personal! I hope you understand and you can see where this is coming from.